ten signs you are the mother of an infant… (and love every second of it)

10. You have been peed, pooped, and/or thrown up on (sometimes within minutes of each other) and it has not phased you in the slightest.

9. Similarly, you almost always carry out your daily routine with some form of spit-up on your shoulder, and you will probably never learn to put that darn burpcloth up there.

8. Your iPod has become overrun with Baby Einstein tracks.

7. Similarly, your DVR has become overrun with Yo Gabba Gabba episodes.

6. Every time to venture to Walmart, Target, or anywhere else with a baby department, you are drawn to it like a paperclip to a magnet, hoping they’ve gotten new stock in since the last time you visited (which was yesterday).

5. Your living room design plan now consists of playmats, bouncy seats, and jumperoos, and your trendy West Elm furniture is collecting dust in the garage.

4. You know every word to “You are my Sunshine,” “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star,” “The Wheels on the Bus,” and “The Itsy Bitsy Spider.” 

3. You have no problem making funny faces and speaking in your highest pitched voice through the aisles of every store you frequent.

2. You cannot remember the last time to actually purchased something for yourself.

1. You cannot even imagine your life without this tiny person in it.